Sep 29, 2009

What kind of MMO gamer are you?

9 circles of MMO gaming hellA member of my guild linked this image on our site and I thought I’d drop a quick post here to let you know where to find me in MMO hell. It’s designed by Tim Buckley over at Ctrl+Alt+Del and I think all of us will be doomed to spend eternity in one circle or other.

Where do I fit Myself?

Well I’d enter at the gateway and go right by the first circle of Perpetual Noobness of course. ;) I would however give it a passing glance in memory of all those amusing MMO mistakes I made, like running of a cliff when looking at my map or edging just that bit too close to the big nasty mob for a better look.

I’d pass the 2nd circle quickly as I’ve never been much of a Role player in the strict sense, sure I’ve flirted with this circle on occasion but never felt drawn to it.

My journey through MMO hell would end at the 3rd circle with no hope of escape. I am a 100% altaholic, I always have multiple characters and never quite finish off each one.

My Everquest 2 journey is a classic example of this. I started with a Halfling Enchanter named Yetian as I wanted my main to break away from his past in EQ1 as a Barbarian Shaman. I then remade this character as a Dwarf Mystic as I felt drawn back to my healing roots. Yetian the Mystic made is as far as the mid 40′s at which time I broke away from playing him to play a number of different alts.

The highest alt was Vilesh an Erudite Necromancer who reached the cap at that time of level 70 as well as 70 Woodworker. At this point I created a Fae Wizard named Naitey who reached 73 as well as a Troubadour (now 24), Skelp my mostly naked Halfling Monk (26) and Skeller a Ratonga Coercer (24). The last alt I created was Bruenark a remake of my first ever MMO character from Everquest 1. During this time other alts came and went, the list above is of my current characters, extensive as you can see.

I also remade my main character Yetian for the 3rd time, to a Barbarian Warden. It didn’t feel right in the end that he wasn’t in Barbarian form. I never got on with the Mystic/Defiler in Everquest 2, (yes I betrayed Yetian mk2 ;) ) but always felt better playing a healer as my main.

I’ve now settled on my main and alt selection, but despite Yetian only have 170 ish AA points I am still playing Naitey my 76 Wizard now Warlock and sometimes my alts Bruenark and Gallish the Troubadour.

Whilst I will reside in the 3rd Circle, I  will surely pass by the other circles on a visit now and again.

I despise gold farmers so maybe I’ll go burn a few now and again on an excursion from my own circle.

I may visit the Nerd Ragers and Bubble Hearthers to laugh at their misery as they always make me laugh to myself when reading the chat channels.

The city of guild is somewhere I have been before, but thanks to my current guild I am no longer doomed to spent eternity surrounded by guild drama and politics. I did come close ending up in this particular circle a few years ago, all hail to neXus for helping me repent those particular MMO sins.

The Pests and the Maleclaustrum I may pop into now and again, just for a few moments of amusement at the pain of those who cause so much to others.

The lamentation is the final circle of MMO hell and is somewhere who’s residents I think all of us will have some sympathy for. Most of us have ended up in the pickup groups from the 9th Circle and I for one have had a few days off work to try a new pach or expansion only to find the servers are down the entire time.

So that’s it, my journey through MMO hell to find my eternal resting place, an altaholic I am doomed to be forever. ;)

Where in MMO hell will you reside and will I see you on one of my day trips to the other circles?


  • I think I, as most others, get a taste of more than one of those circles of hell.

    I am currently suffering from altoholoism with a twist of eternal n00bness (yes, those can without any trouble be combined :-) ).

    I never seem to get that main toon up and running 100%, due to a combo of lack of skill, lack of time (or willingness to spend the time doing tedious stuff that is sometimes required) or lack of comitment, as there is always an alt somewere having fun (or at least more fun than killing 700 of a certan mob to get that drop you need).

    I am now playing EQ2, and travel mostly in the first and third circle. I mention EQ as I used to play another MMO that took me to see a hell of a lot more of hell. There were a lot more ninjas, CAPS abusers and farmers and I don't miss them (hmm, as they are part of hell, I wonder if they are supposed to be missed at all?)

    As most everyone else I go to the ninth circle for the odd failed PUG. I don't do many PUGs for different reasons.

    One would be my n00bness, and therefore me wiping the gruop over and over, it hasn't really happened, but it is my fear to be that someone.

    I am not entirely unskilled, but I like the idea of being with people I know and therefore getting some slack if I make a mistake once in a while.

    So to answer you question. Yes, you will see me in hell, and we could probably get together once in a while to take the bus to one of the other circles :P

  • I'm level IX! Stuck with the PUGs forever :(

  • I think there may be a 10th level of MMO hell, which is where I am currently – The Plateau of Eternal Soloing. Yes, it's that souless realm of limbo where you cannot make any real progress in the game because all the main storyline quests you need to complete are all team/group based and you spend endless hours trying to recruit a group that never actually exists :)


  • could you give me the circles of hell, whiteout the text?

    • Sorry as I said in the article I found it elsewhere.

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